Are engagement rings necessary? What do they signify? How much should you spend on it? I find it interesting that some people find engagement rings wasteful while others wouldn’t dream of getting engaged without one.
I think it’s personal preference. I’ve had friends who’ve spent $30-40k on a ring. And others who spent $100. It doesn’t seem to affect that relationship.
What does affect the cost of the ring is when you get engaged. I noticed that my friends who got engaged younger, ie before 25, all have tiny rings. Not too flashy or expensive. Those who are getting engaged now at 30+ have much larger, more expensive rings. I think because they are more financially able to afford it.
I have to wonder if perhaps as you get older and find someone, their ability to provide a ring isn’t symbolic of being a good financial manager? And that’s why women who are in their 30s are looking for a more expensive ring because you wanted to see the man has spent his 20s and 30s building his savings?
I have a pretty small, less expensive ring. I love it. I have no plans on trading it in at this time. Although ask me in 20 years if I want something bigger.
This will be horribly crass, but my mom’s engagement ring is a 3 carat diamond. I have no idea what it’s worth now, but it was horrible expensive then. I guess my dad wanted to impress her. But he was in his 50s so the situation was a lot different than a couple starting out.
Do you have an expensive engagement ring or not? Do you think it’s important?
Comments
“And that’s why women who are in their 30s are looking for a more expensive ring because you wanted to see the man has spent his 20s and 30s building his savings?”
This is another way of wondering if a man “can take care of a woman”? I don’t really like that process of thinking….. It just seems kind of old fashioned. But then again, I’m such a feminist, I only worry about being ale to take care of myself.
My DH and didn’t have engagment rings, only wedding rings and we bought them together. I have an antique diamond and I love it. I think that a lot of couples buy their rings together now, just as many families are transitioning to having SAHDs. It is more “modern” and less traditional, which I think is really cool, because people don’t feel like thet HAVE to live a certain way and by certain rules.
I agree that it is outdated to be “taken” care off, but I notice older people do have bigger rings.
DH and I were engaged and married at 23, I have a small engagement ring. I also have very small fingers and it looks bigger on my hand! It is what we/he could afford back then. I have not noticed that the older we get the larger the rings. I have noticed, however, that my more materialistic friends have larger rings than my other friends. I think it depends on the person, not age. I am not a big fan of weddings and unfortunately we are at the age when everyone is starting to get married!
It depends on the couple quite often because some women really want to have a say in their e-ring and help pick it out, but often the ring is a surprise. So it’s not necessarily about what the woman wants, it’s about what the man chose.
My fiance and I split up in January, so I don’t have an e-ring anymore, but the one he picked out for me was a ridiculous 1.52 carats. I hated that ring. It was not at all suited to my tastes, it was just his attempt to show off that he could afford a $14k ring (which, by the way, he totally couldn’t. But he spent it anyway. He was all about appearances.) He also compromised a lot on colour and clarity for carat size, and if I could have picked something for myself I would have downsized the diamond by a lot for a better QUALITY diamond.
Then again, you know, maybe my feelings about my engagement ring were influenced by my feelings about the relationship itself, which wasn’t that great and it’s a good thing we split up.
My feelings about an e-ring I might have in the future? I was surprised by a ring last time, and next time I would like to help pick out a ring I plan on wearing for the rest of my life. I don’t think it matters how much is spent on the ring though – I think I could find something I liked at any price point.
Laure sorry to hear about the broken engagement, sounds like the best. I love the perspective.
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i honestly don’t think it matters. the reason why it’s such a big deal in our society is b/c everybody is too materialistic! in fact i want to buy my own diamond ring – i would feel so much prouder if i bought my own ring!
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